A few years ago, a friend of mine shared a book with me called, “The Believer’s Guide to the Jesus Gym.” I was able to read through it pretty quickly, but it was one that stuck with me for awhile.
It was very fitting for my lifestyle. And it definitely made perfect sense.
The main premise of the book was that, like muscles in your body can be built by going to the gym, so can your Jesus muscles be built by spending time with Him.
I wish I would have read this book years ago. Because I stayed away from God and church for far too long…for reasons that you may understand.
I didn’t think I was good enough to go to church. I didn’t think I belonged there. I didn’t think I was “Christian” enough, whatever that means. I was a sinner. I was judgmental. And I experienced feelings of jealousy and anxiety and anger. How could I possibly be accepted at church? How could I be a good representation of a Christian for other people when I didn’t even know what a good Christian was supposed to look like?
I don’t feel this way much anymore, but it still sneaks in every now and again. In fact, I was just having a conversation with Nick about it last week after breaking down in church. What our pastor spoke about that morning touched me to the core and made me look in the mirror, once again, at things I don’t think I’d addressed from years ago.
And yes, I still worry and have more anxiety than I care to admit. I’m definitely still impatient, even though I pray for patience every day. Yes, every day.
But the difference now is that I turn towards God in prayer much sooner than I ever did before. I recognize the feelings I’m having, the actions I’m taking, and I take a step back and put it in God’s hands.
I’ve also realized one very important component of all this.
I. Am. Human.
What?! Say it ain’t so!!
I know, I know. It seems so simple to say, but all those feelings I described are human emotions. And while I try to be more God-like, I know that I will always fall short…yep, because I’m human.
All I know is that I try my very best every day. And I spend time with God daily. Nick and I have found a church that feels like home and have been going regularly on Sundays. I also have the desire to be more involved, so hopefully that will come to fruition soon. But here is one area where those doubts creep in – I feel like I’ll be viewed as a fraud; like I’m not “Christian” enough.
But reading that book? Well, it helped me realize it is a daily journey. And that the only person responsible for building my spiritual muscles is ME! He loves me and has forgiven me, and as long as I continue to work on my spiritual fitness, I will continue to grow in my relationship with Him and continue to build my spiritual muscles.
I hope you all have a beautiful week. Enjoy what God has given you in this amazing life. And continue to work on your spiritual fitness.